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No Exit from the Dream
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(2015) I had a really bad nightmare in which I found myself in a vast dark cave. I was alone and frantically searching for a way out but there wasn't one. The feeling of panic was unforgettable. And with hands sweating, I began crawling along a ledge. I ended up slipping and falling into a dark abyss, desperately grasping at the rock shelf as I lost myself.
I wanted to transform that lonely mental experience of horror into a directly opposing idea: a physical, colorful, and beautiful visual that I could share with others above ground. I'm terrified of heights, so the irony of falling to my death underground resonated. It also made me mad at myself. By creating this piece, I feel that I've won over the dark part of my subconscious that found it necessary to put me through such hell, even if only in my mind.
"Still falling
Breathless and on again
Inside today
Beside me today
Around, broken in two
Till your eyes shed
Into dust
Like two strangers
Turning into dust
Till my hand shook
With the way I fear..."
-- Mazzy Star, Into Dust